For good or ill, I am a fan of lists.
To-do lists. Ta-da lists. Shopping lists. Curriculum lists.
Even what-I-need-to-do-to-fix-myself lists.
Those can get kindof long.
Anyway, pondering my need for a softened heart as I talked about here led to a lot of prayer this weekend. Not surprisingly, I fell back on an old favorite … “Lord, what do I need to DO?” Give me a project, and I’m on it. Just give me the list, tell me the rules, and I’ll figure it out. That way I can check it off, you know? I can say, “Yup, I’ve met that requirement.” My primary, core belief for years has been, “There is a best way to do EVERYTHING, and I will find it and do it.” Which makes it interesting to be married to a person whose core belief is “There’s a different way to do it, rules don’t apply …” but that’s a whole ‘nother post.
Asking the Lord “What do I need to do?” wasn’t really getting me anywhere over the weekend. This morning’s reading was Romans 8, all about how God is our Father (ahhh, amazing!) and the Spirit prays for us because He knows the mind of God as well as knowing our hearts. Good thing! Then I had to look up notes from yesterday’s sermon. Our pastor’s son, who is the youth pastor at our church, preached on facing obstacles in our lives, and one of his main points was from Genesis 15:1 … “Do not fear, Abram, I am a shield to you; Your reward shall be very great.” God is our Reward! He, Himself.
I don’t need a list of things to work on; another set of things wrong with me that need improvement. I need God.
And therein lies the answer. What do I need to do? Pursue Him Who has already apprehended me, as Tozer encourages us …
In this divine “upholding” and human “following” there is no contradiction. All is of God, for as von Hugel teaches, God is always previous. In practice, however, (that is, where God’s previous working meets man’s present response) man must pursue God. Or, our part there must be positive reciprocation if this secret drawing of God is to eventuate in identifiable experience of the Divine. In the warm language of personal feeling this is stated in the Forty-second Psalm: “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come. and appear before God?” This is deep calling unto deep, and the longing heart will understand it.” ~The Pursuit of God
What a wondrous thing it is to be a child of God!
So I am asking God to remind me today that He is near; that He is my Father, that He is my Reward. Trusting Him to do the work that needs to be done. To draw me closer to Him, which is surely the greatest need in my life.
I pray the same for you, sweet friend!
still counting gifts … #916-926
my church, my home … an amazing blessing to me *sweet friends to laugh with over dinner/dessert *weekends, fabulous gift especially during the busy school year! *fabulous worship *comfy comforter *fresh-brewed coffee *rainy afternoons at naptime *Zachy’s new truck–finally! *sleeping baby *girls enjoying paint *Pioneer Woman cooking on tv … how fun is that? *bedtime