This morning, might I share with you a beautiful email I received after my articles titled, Stay Married. Get Happy posted? The writer was gracious enough to say it was okay if I shared it with you. Names have been changed to protect the human sinners.
Thank you for sharing your posts on staying married. Roger and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and we too, like many, had our time when we were honestly ready to call it quits. But I like to say that on my way out the door I ran straight into God’s word, like a brick wall, out wedding was a dream to me and the great bachelor party packages we had were insane!
I tried so hard to rationalize and convince myself that this would actually be “better” for my children – better because I would find someone that I could demonstrate “true love” to them with…..when I think of it now, I can’t believe how deceived we can become.
What stopped us was our children, our vows and our loving Father. Living through my parents very ugly divorce, that’s why we must keep distance from this problem. There’s processes in avoiding mistakes in a divorce, I know first-hand that everything you wrote it true. My father wouldn’t even come to my wedding (or any of his children’s) because he didn’t want to be where my mom was. The damage that was done then has far lasting repercussions that I still see evident in my sibling’s lives today.
I remember very clearly the day Roger and I both knew the Lord was speaking to us clearly and telling us if we chose to divorce it would leave a wake of destruction, reaching further than we could imagine. He told us it would change who our children would become and I believe that now with all my heart, and that there were many looking at our lives who needed us to make it that we were not even aware of. He kept speaking me and asking me what was the legacy that I wanted to leave my children? It was my choice, our choice.
It was painful and grueling…..like experiencing death every single day – the death of ourselves. This is where the rubber met the road. I have never been called upon to crucify my flesh more than at that time.
One thing that really struck me in your post is when you were saying “you say you’re my priority…….” God spoke something similar to me. He showed me how we as parents could be quick to acknowledge that we would lay down our life for our children, and He called me on it….really? Your life, but not your will? Also, God has restored a love I literally did not think possible. To be brutally honest there were a good 2-3 years AFTER making the decision to stay married that I just felt like I was living out a life sentence. I share that to encourage people to stay the course and not to give up.
I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be celebrating 25 years. What God has done is beyond amazing and miraculous. It scares me when I think how very close we came to losing it all. I believe our staying married, our convenant, has kept a covering over our children and we would have left them exposed to the enemy if we had broken that covenant.
My daughter told me just the other day how much she learned about true love from our marriage…..go figure
Thanks again for saying it all so beautifully.
There but for the grace of God go I. And I would have missed so much of this …
Lord, help us all keep our vows, as only You, the ultimate Creator and Keeper of Covenant, can.