What Not to Read

This is an age where the rallying cry for those trying to save our society from tumbling into an endless morass of mindless television, pop-culture magazines and twaddle-y fiction is “READ!” And I agree. If we want to learn anything, if we want to expand our understanding of the world and its people, we must read.  I’m an avid reader and have been from the time as a child when I used reading as my great escape.  I love to study.  I came into wife-hood and motherhood feeling ill-equipped for either job, and I realized they were definitely JOBS that were going to require a lot of knowledge that I didn’t have.  Consequently, my shelves are full of books, and there are probably almost as many that have been borrowed and then returned to dear friends’ bookshelves or the library over the years.

There’s one genre, however, that I’ve discovered to be detrimental to my family rather than helpful.  It’s surprising, but true.  And that genre is the one dedicated to . . .

what Christian husbands *should* do.

 While this makes for very interesting and challenging reading, especially for twenty-first century moms who are striving against the current to create great homes, for me they also inspired jealousy, frustration and a feeling of hopelessness over the areas where my husband was uninterested or uninspired by the featured topic.  I’ve learned that a very important part of marriage is learning both who my husband is and who he is not, as well as who he wants to become and who he does not want to become. 

My husband is a fabulous guy.  He’s a great dad; the most fun one on the block and the one all the other kids want to hang around with.  He’s incredibly patient with me, always brags about me when I’m not around, and makes the best omelettes on the planet without complaint.  He’s even been known to let me–nay, even help me–sponge paint my living room a truly horrendous shade of rose.  (Yes, I learned my lesson. No more sponge painting, and I stick to pale yellow now.) 

He does NOT, however, want to . . .

           eat a diet of all fruits and vegetables

           teach the children algebra

           become a  pastor

           throw out our television set

           deliver all of our babies himself at home

           listen to an eight hour parenting seminar on tape

           learn all the great hymns so he can teach them to the kids

           be the general contractor on our own house which we build ourselves

           raise llamas in our backyard

          work full-time from home

          or take our boys bison hunting with bows and arrows they handmade in the forest.

And, while those things were a disappointment to me for varying seasons of time, I am now quite happy to admit that I’ve accepted all of them.  I also want to give you this bit of advice from a (possibly) older, (maybe) more experienced, and (surely) more-often-failed mom . . .

Leave the reading of men’s self-help books to men. 

If you don’t read it but he chooses to read it, *maybe* he’ll do it.  But if you don’t read it and he doesn’t read it, or does but doesn’t do what’s suggested, you won’t know what he “should have” done, anyway.   Which makes for a much happier household, in my book.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.”

I Timothy 6:6

 Happy reading to you.  And, for the sake of your family,  stay in the women’s section!

                                                                                             edited from the archives
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
This entry was posted in The Parlor: Personal stuff, The Prayer Closet: What God's teaching me, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to What Not to Read

  1. Heatherashe says:

    This is so fabulous.  I LOVE your list!  Mine is not the same, but I can SO relate to the overall sentiment.  :)  I’ll be sharing sometime soon … when I return to the cyberworld more fully.

  2. Chelsea says:

    so true, so wise…just appreciate what you got right?

  3. Well said! And as wives, we might want to be careful with the “Christian romance” novels (you know, the ones where the hero is always perfect in every way) for the same reason.

  4. Chrisannedr says:

    I love this! I feel exactly the same way. I am married to a wonderful Christian man who dearly loves and provides for our family. He is a great role model to our children and although we have always had a good marriage, he and I have been growing together more and more each year as we both grow closer to God. I have many reasons to thank God every day for the blessing of being married to him. But there are books out there that lead me to look at the areas where he is not perfect. He is not the type to read books, but if he were and he read books about how I should keep house and cook gourmet meals, he would be severely disappointed. Those are wonderful qualities in a wife, but are not my strengths. I am very blessed that he focuses on the things I do well, and it good for our marraige when I focus on his strengths too.

    • I love what you said here … “If he were, and he read books about how I should keep house and cook gourmet meals, he would be severely disappointed.” LOLOL! Yes,my husband is very gracious to me in that way, too. He doesn’t look for my flaws. Praise the Lord, and I think I’ll go give him a kiss!~ Thanks for pointing that out!

  5. Homeschool on the Croft says:

    ‘Stay in the women’s section’ …. so funny. And so true! Loved this piece. 
    After 20 years of marriage I am more and more thankful for they guy I have – the ‘not perfect’ but the guy who is ‘waaaay more than I deserve’. And just imagine if he was ‘perfect’….. Dearie me, he’d expect me to be perfect too….!

    Where would that leave me?!

    • Misty Krasawski says:

      There’s sooooo much to learn, isn’t there? I think it might take a lifetime; good thing that’s how long we have! :-)

Leave a Reply to Misty Krasawski Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *